Crusade of a Cursed Man
Chapter: Crisis of an alter Ego
Recently I encountered the divulgence, aimed at me, Of Course in my absence, which was, “ He is not the person to have close friends for very long.”
I don't deny this statement, it's a fact, wonderfully stated, no doubt about it, but the problem lays itself in the divulgence, whoever aimed this divulgence, himself has clarified “close friends for long” in his divulgence and the very next day he extended his big brother's marriage invitation to be among only four others he had invited.
Now help me understand if, “close friends” as a relationship is a mutual feeling or a one-sided feeling?
I stood with every person I know, having a bond, in almost every tough situation had a sweet relationship, smooth transition but if after being apart, we don't share connections does it means I had ditched the close friend or whenever we will meet again in life, we might start new but not as strangers but certainly as “TWO GOOD PERSONS”.
There is a difference between a friend and a close friend, people have to understand the involved reason behind that.
I have many friends with whom I have a sweet connection, share our sins and mutual understanding, which varies from one to another depending on his nature of perception, and coping abilities.
There are few people in my life with whom I will never start a conversation again, at least in this life.
Yes, I do have friends on whom I can rely with my life, even not have to think twice, if asked for, no matter if we are in touch or not. He has come to me with hope, and it's my responsibility to sustain his hope in humanity.
For me, these are not mere philosophical statements, anyone can tests this, in reality, any day he wants to, I will be happy and not even have any agony towards him.
Each day I ask myself, “how can I become a better person than yesterday?”. Only this is what matters: the rest is circumstantial. Everyone is busy in their crisis and everyone greets another only if he understands “nothing can be done alone”.
Trying to develop the winning mindset of coming out of a crisis with the ability to rehearse rather than discussing, '`usne aissa kyu kha, kyu kiya, arre maine uske liye kya kuch nahi kiya?’ and all that stuff, which is pure nonsense, because at the end you had to have satisfied soul of your own having an answer’ Bhai isse jyada aur kuch nahi kar sakta tha,that's enough, you cannot satisfy everyone around you.
There was one incident, that made me concentrate on every person and act politely and friendly around you.
In my school days, there was a friend of mine and we shared a good connection, and at that time I had a rough patch in my life going side by side with my studies as well healthwise. I thought being a friend, he might understand my ongoing condition, I even asked for help from him many times, but since the sections were allotted, I was ignored by the wolf pack, this soured my situation even worse. Since there may be thousands of reasons why I cannot accomplish things, I searched for the only reason why I have to accomplish the goal. I passed the 12th Exam CBSE board with maths and bio stream having only 67%.even though the school administration has held my admit card on account of my midterms marks and absence from pre-board (yes, due to health issues), and the Principal told my parents he is not going to give Readmission to me, if I failed the exam, means I have to enroll myself elsewhere “If I Failed”.
Then I took a year gap after passing the board same year 2007, was enrolled in the coaching for medical-related competitive exams that year was pure full of emptiness, I had no one to explain, from what I am going through, neglected by my pack, then I found few others from the school time, we shared some time, tried to be back in the pack but badly failed.
From that instance I always told myself, it's all going to be ok one day. From then onwards I always spend time with those who don't have to feel “else-wise” from my presence, they enjoy the company as I do.
After a year in 2008, when the exam results were announced, I remember a call on my father's cell phone from one from the wolf pack, we were in Banaras at that time, asking an insight about the college rank he had scored a far better rank than me, even though I shared my list of colleges with ranking and, remember friends, at that time sharing a piece of information was a lengthy task because we don't use sharing apps like emails even Gmail was a new thing to us. I explained, dictated the whole list, it took more than an hour. After the counseling I never heard from him, I had his landline and he had my father's number which was passed to me the next year in 2009, which I use today.
With the silence, many years passed and one day I received the sad news of the demise of one of my teachers, who was also a mother of my school classmate. I was on the same premise, the same day of this mishap, and unknown about the mishap. The next day I received sad news from one of my classmates, but till then I was back in my city Banaras. I was shamed on the fact that we were so close even though, I was so not there for him, then I decided to frame a group on Facebook by the name “Reunite 2007” (till time most of us were addicted to it, and my presence was only limited to few logins in a month). The idea was to get everyone on the same page so that we can know each other ware-about.
On the same day, once again I received the call from that person, who called me last at the time of counseling, he was traveling somewhere and begun his rash out on me that I ignored him all these years, I was not there with him, in the time of his worst phase of life and so on.
I was stunned again when I opened up Facebook. The person claiming I ignored him had not even responded to my friend request sent in 2010, never replied to my comments on his post, nor in messages, till the date we were having this conversation. How I was supposed to stand side by side with him?
On that day I realized, with whomsoever I meet, will greet as best as I could, and as soon as we move ahead, it will always be on a good node.
I have friends and close friends but how long I cannot quantify it, never could. Always love to stand by those who need me.
And yes, I have close friends, who no matter what will stand by my side even in the worst scenarios. Love You brothers.
