When it rang

By every message I receive ... when my cell phone rings there is always a hope maybe u r there remembering me.. but its a false feel I when in reality ..when seeing the phone my inspiration my expectations all went down eveytime... you only made me in this situation nothing to blame you but the fact lies in the matter do I really matter worthy in your life ..do you ever ,do a favour to me by just giving me an opportunity to realize how far you need me...no offence of yours ... but you unknowingly made me realize that I was very below the boys in ur life... may be just another fantasy story of your life an adventurous experience ...slowly and slowly some part of my life is dying ... becoming vestibule to me.. my joy enthusiasm all are squeezed out.... my hope of living .... my inner soul all are wounded now... heal will never be there... may you made me devil just because I wanted you to have best reason to not talk me any more. .. and from now my voyage of being disappear will continue. .. from now you will never came to know about me... neither from anybody,,,Whole life now becoming the mess of missed shot opportunities and somehow the ignored ideas are creating discomfort of feel and actions my social nature has just dropped to the level there might i cann't with stand in the society 

Meri baat

Humko hamari jagah yaad dilane k liy shukriya. Mein hi waissa nahi jo ki aapki beskimiti dosti k kabil hi nahi bn paya..jb bhi aapko baat karni hoti hai aapk pass koi na koi hota hi hai..aap ne sahi kiya ..yaar aap ne y jata diya ki meri aukkat hi kya hai aapk samne.. jo jagah banane mein mere ko itna wqt laga ki aap humse koi baat share karti wo jagah rahul ne badi assani se bana li.... aur fb pr hamare liy wqt nahi hota aur satish so cool yaad raha usse rply karne k liy.... humse baat karte wqt doodh wala ghar wale ghar k kaam... jhadu pocha ...khana banana sab kaam hote hai..pr kissi aur se baat karne k liy aapk pass pura time... arre yaar wah ... kassam se jindagi mein aapne jo yaad dila diya mere ko ussk liy tahe dil se thank you.. shayad jindagi lag jaygi iss baat ko sahej kar lakhna padega ki mein kya deserve karta hun kya nahi.... karta to kuch bhi deserve nahi hun pr shayad ek wajah aapne de di ki khali hath rehne k liy koi afsoos bhi nahi hoga.thanks a lot

Two weeks

Just we completed our two weeks of slient cold war in which just spoked only on sunday that too has passed 8 from now... thanks for making me in the situation where I just wanted to talk with you but just can't help myself in the big confused state of mind.. the illusions of my mind the superficial unreal one where you were always with me sharing and saving my own thoughts. .I needed you to just make me stable in thoughts but all we want neither we got in our life.. its very hard decision to stay away from you but no other options seems to make you happy and joyful ...all ever thing I wanted is your smile ... smile that makes me proud and

Rudra's rage

Kuch der mein 48 hrs ho jayenge... bss iss khamoshi se darta tha badhti ja rahi hai.aapko to shayad aab hamare mein galtiya hi nazar aati hongi... pr phle y bataiy khana khaya ? Hope thakkan kam.ho gai hogi aapki...kl raat travel kar k allahabad agaya pr pata nahi kyu mnn thoda uddas sa tha..shayad aap nahi ho na koi nahi iski bhi addat daal lenge...soch raha tha ki aap ko shayad koi aur to nahi mil gaya... isliy nahi ki yakeen nahi hai aap pe par isliy ki hqdar hai aap kissi behtareen k.... waisse ek baat puchu jb se mein fb pe aya aapki baate fb pe post comments km kar diy aapne..... aur haan yaar ek baat aur notice ki meine .... fb pe subah 8-10 ya 11 online rehti hai aap regular. .. itni punctuality wah... maan gay ... sach kehte hai sab aapko mere gyada jaante hai wo... anil k lafzo mein aap usse mere se gyada maanti hai .. wo kuch bhi kare mere se phle usse maaf karogi aap..
Rahul kehta hai ki sirf wahi aissa ladka hai yahan jiske samne aap waisse hi ho jaisse rehna chahti ho... usse ladai y Aith kar bolne de darti ho.... y sahi bole to kaiyde se rehti ho ... sahi bhi shayad mein aapko itni free space itna confidence nahi de paya bahut sata wqt aur maukke milne k bawjood. ... kitni baar dekha ki kafi der online the aap pr majal jo rply kar dete ek... koi aissi baat jo taal di ho aapki aab tk ... jo bhi kha aapne pura kiya na to kya chahte ho humse hum ya kare? Mein aapko passand karta hun hadd se gyada ... aapko lagta hai ki sirf friend bn k react ya act karna kitna muskil hota hoga mere liy... aapne yahi bola tha na ghar mein sabko abhishek maurya k baare mein bataya hai... id bhi check karwa li uski... y bol k ki wo ladka fb k through mila hai to shayad sabko glt lag raha... yaar kitna seh sakta hun... abb kissi ne mere ko favour kar k marks de diy to kya karu... unse bolne to nahi gaya tha mere marks badha do... jb bhi baat hui pure gp ki baat ki aur aapki. .abb agar gaur kare aap to financial accounting mein meri copies ki likne ki style ko richa ma'am ne pure class k samne appreciate kiya tha.... aur jhan tk sessional ki baat hai to ek diya tha jisme sabme 25 k upper marks the wo bhi pehla wala... attendence isliy km nahi thi ki sabko bata k jata tha ki ghar ja raha kaam hai...  tiwariji application nahi le rahe.... in sab cheezo k beet jaane k baad mile april mein aap aur phir may ... kya lagta hai meri phle se kuch tyyari nahi thi.... abb kya karu ki aab sirf 2 hrs  mein utna padh leta hun jitne se 60'70 bn jaay ... aur iss sem ko chod dijiy to har sem mein 60'70 k beech hi marks aay hai mere to agar baimani ki gai to sirf 60 marks ki mere sath.... kabhi kissi ne y nahi kaha ki kyu tumhare internal 30'35 k beech rehte hai... phir bhi 71 percentage banay tha na 3 sem mein.. phir acchank mere ko marks beekh mein milne ki baat kahan se agai iss sem..... mere se itni problem hai to marks ki scrutiny karwaiy.... agar phir bhi 75 k niche marks bane to kahiyga.... kyunki 15 marks k variation mein facilities pr action hota hai.... uptu se 8 sem 2 sem padhaya jissme ek sem copy check karne ka bhi maukka  milla phir 4 sem yahan to andaaz ho hi jata hai ma'am ki kitna kaisse likhna hai to marks gyada milte hai.... yajan kabhi comparison nahi katna tha aapko...waisse bhi aap kya ho bata hi chukka hun

25 june 6 eve

It's been 10 days and an hour we haven't spoken to each other.....just a talk of 24minutes and 54 sec in which you were just out in rage about 20 minutes or so...we just talk even when you were here in allahabad more than this but now the silence is killing me... more than ever just do something to stop do anything to console me re gather me plz I can't bear this silence anymore plz...  plz keh do ki y bechaini sirf meri nahi tumhari bhi hai..... keh do jo  huwa ussme hum dono ki nadani hi hai.... keh do ki tum mujhe khona nahi chahte.... keh do ki sirf mere bare mein hi sochte ho tum....  wapas a jaao yaar plz bhaut dard bojhil se ho gai hai jindagi .... koi maza koi sukkun nahi hai..... har wqt uljhan hi rehti hai dil dimag mein.. kuch nahi kar pa raha kahin mnn nahi lagta abb tum sirf yaad rehte ho... bss ek baar y khamoshi tod do yaar ...mere liy..... mere liy bahut important ho tum jante ho na... nahi reh pa raha ....kuch to aissa karo ki tumhare bare mein jaan paau plz wapas ajao yaar mere liy plz

And she never called

And today morning while an attempt was made to end the cold war between us and was a half hearted a effortlessly talk was carried out about an half hour which ultimately results in the situation more tense more hactic .. this time the decision I hade made and now I will have to follow it ..why you think I was considered favourite in the eyes of ravi Sharma and why you can't see amreen nisha the mohd..lady favoured me even more then the muslim boy shah ahed.... since this sem you not nailed that doesn't mean that you are bad or so but just you haven't enjoyed the cream of marks but even though you made your mba with an honours a great achievement and only few here can say and write in our batch... actually I think you are comparing the maeks with mine.... and see if I had to do so I had done in even previous semesters which I hadn't done and even in my life what you think I had no connections ... may be i was an uppcl employee if asked to my father who In front of me has favoured two relatives to join and what about my brother director in cii ..even though I had persuaded my courses on my own... and you are panic on me... making my life hell...lets b clear I too had emotions even I get hurt .... you were always so sweet towards me that you always given me new chance of carrying out frendship but this mean I was not the guy of your valuable frendship

16 shaam

Khana khaya? Kya khaya? Pair kaissa hai..uncle untyji kaisse hai? Ashwini ne join kiya training. .. kb pahunche aap log aaj.?ha ha sorry kahin disturb to nahi kiya aapko ? To kaissa beeta aaj ka din.. bahut yaad aarahe aap yaar..hamari baat huy 24 hrs hone ja rahe. Aap ko msg karna passand hi nahi humko call karne ki manahi... sab aap ki favour ki hone chahiy na baate.. plz yaar kuch to bolo bahut muskil se beeta hai y pura din pr abhi to surruwat hai kaisse hoga aage mere ko bahut badi saza de gay yaar aap... upper se mood aur kharab kar liya hai aapne mere se.... kya karu boliy .. ek aap the jinse kuch baate aissi bhi share karne laga tha jo ki ghar pr nahi share kar sakta tha ... aapne sab sunna samjha aur ab phir akele chod k chale gay... yaar bss y bataiy jb online hote hai aap to batate kyu nahi... accha haan bore kar deta hun na aapko...chaliy abb shayad is boring aadmi se aapko chutkara milla... jaissa ki aap kehti hai... humse kya matlab. .. khana banaya ki bahar khaya.... maussam kaissa hai.... yaad tobaya nahi honga mein...aunga bhi kaisse koi na ..addat daal lunga chupa rehne ki bss isha jaissi mat bn jaiyga ... kuch bhi kariyga to y soch k ki mein bhi hun baaki aap to mere se gayada samjhdar hai.... cheeze handle bhi acche se karti hai. . Bss dar is baat ka hai ki aapk baad mein shayad khud ko sambhal nahi paunga...yahi ek drr hai baki jo ho meri kismat ne mujhe kabhi kuch nahi diya. .. usse ladkar leba pada hai..pr ussne wo cheez aisse di ki kabhi khushi nahi hui... aap wapas kb aoge yaar plz kuch to bolo kuch bhi pr plz bolo yaar.. badal na jana

16/June/2015

Jaanti hai aap mere ko bura kitna lag raha tha kl... pr mein kar bhi kya sakta tha aur...aapki sari baat sahi thi ki favour kiya gaya mere ko...meine cts nahi diy .attendances km thi .assignment nahi diy.... ppr kharab kiy.... wo sab kiya jo nahi karna tha.... roj daru bhi peeta tha..padhai ... handwriting sab km hai meri aapse.kissi faculty ka phone uski baate sunnana.. pr ek baar ye soch kar dekhiy ki aap khan ho mere samne... ek aissi ladki jisne akele puri raat thake hone k bawjood ticket liya.... wapas ghar ja k kaam niptay aur bhai ki khushi k liy banaras tk k intezaam bhi kiya... shayad mein y nahi kar pata... sari situation aapne hamesha mere se gyada acchi se handle kiya hai... aap mere se bahut acche knowledgeable manager ho yaar... y baat kyu nahi maante...aur  takleef to yaar mere ko bhi hai pr y bataiy ki iss sem aapk 75 bane hai na and overall bhi itne hi bane hai
.. y bahut aache marks hote hai yaar. . Kyu mere jaisse jahil se compare kar rahi aap.. hum jaisse ko to chaliy baishakhi ki help mil gai and aage kya ....y log to jindagi ki race nahi jitayenge humko... bss y ek bura phase tha life ka jo nikal gaya pr sach yaar iska y matlab hargis nahi ki aap aapna mood and efficiency kharab kariy... jab aapse sari baat discuss karta hun yaani akele nahi sambhaal pata na wo sab aapki help chaiy rehti hai mujhe hamesha.. aur manager kaam karte huy acche lagte hai marks to sirf ek bahana hote hai .... mujhe khushi sirf aapki khushi se milti hai aur agar aapko lagta hai ki mere na cts.. collg jane se assignments na dene se aur kharab writing k bawjood marks diy gay jabki ek ppr mein attempt hi 65-70 ka tha.kissi bande ka phone receive karna..usse baate karna... to yaakeen maniy mere sath bhi accha nahi hoga.. km se km upper wala to dekh raha hai na ...mere ko aapka dil dukhane ki wajah banane ki saja to mil hi jaygi wqt aane pr...aur bss ek baar y soch lijiyga ki agar kissi ka sath mere liy imp.hai to aap... baaki aapka decision hai

Tumhare bina mein

UJane kyu abb kuch bhi galtiya nahi karta shayad abb aap nahi unhe sudharne k liy daatne k liy samjhane k liy.... abb maza bhi nahi ata koi nai sharrart karne mein.... dekha kitna kuch badal k chale gay itne km dino mein mere jindagi ki khushyia.... bss sirf itna keh dete ki wapas aaoge na.... intezar karungi tumhara. Bss sirf itne se hum puri jindagi nikal dete...aaj bhi ussi mod pe sir rakh k rota hun Jhan kabhi hum sath juzre the... bss un asso ko log dekh nahi paate ... bhegte maussam mein kahin dil ki dhadkkan rukne lagti hai dekh lo ki kahin kissi ajnabee k yahan hum ajnabee se nazar na aay..... sach bola tha ki mein sab diggad lunga huwa bhi wahi abb jo khamoshi hai wo sirf tumhari nahi mere mare huy us vyatitvya ki hai jo kabhi tumhare sath raha tha...jiski lakh galtiyo ko maff kar tumne baato ka silsilla rukne nahi diya tha...mein alag andaze bayan kar k jeeta hun ... pr thak haar kar jaam peeta hun...takdeer se laddkar abb har si hone lagi hai... dekho mein wqt se phlevy ankhe bojhil hone lagi hai .. kaisse ho yaar iss baar jb se door gay badal gay tum abb kyu karte ho itni khamoshi baate... shayad meri maut hi iss khamoshi ko tod paygi....