Green Dot- Short Story of OnLine

“A heart never wants to hurt, especially to others, he cares about.”

 Part 1

In the past, I had shared many views about living fantasies, broken love angels, ups and downs of life for my blogs and few internet publications, and because of that, I too had to face frequent questions, fired out from my friends and strangers via email, phone, and messages towards me about articles authenticity and connection to my life. Most of them I politely turn down because every time it is uncanny. Just because I wrote them all, that does not imply a connection between me and the situations I explained in articles.

But there might be a story, I want to share with you and hope many among us will correlate themselves with it and if not, then again as stated to the free will of mine, I had witnessed it not experienced it fully.

I started a new job about a year ago, and in-process had to relocate our city. My friends were left behind and the only way to communicate with them was an online medium. Due to work obligations, we have to put our call minimized during work hours and due to continuous to & fro involved in between job centers, was killing the personal time of life algorithm. My habit of staying awake at nights made me wonder and rambler about social media, publications, and my time in analyzing.

One day while rambling on a social media platform I started a chat with an online girl over one of my blogs on which she posted a comment, and then she disappeared afterward. But before that vanishing act, she tried to restore my memories of the past, when we had a face-to-face conversation in a context related to workplace seminar. But I could not figure out her face, I tried to recall hard, but apart from her pretense nothing I could sketch in my mind. That day I felt nothing that can be worth expressing, until now.

Suddenly, I began to be online, on the same social platform where we had our last little but brief introduction for the first time, but now I didn’t see her online. I was disappointed for the reason unknown to me, especially for a stranger I was talking just a second time in my whole life.

I waited for her to be online at the very moment, every single day for a month. My impatience grew and hope died. Negative thoughts were floating across the mind just because of the icing silence of the glacier.

Now days started to roll out with occasional exchanges of online "hi" and "byes" with smiles expressed by emoji and then silence followed afterward.

I was so attached to her online presence around my articles online that I started to share every single moment of my life on the online social platforms in the form of “stories”, post.

Her presence and engagement around my post in the form of likes, share or even the seen symbol was more than enough for me at any time of day.

However, at this age when the social pressure is high with prestige and egos that can easily be hurt are staking high even though my feelings grew stronger and stronger for her.

Mostly I found her offline, at that very moment many thoughts sail in my mind that were strange like hell and “why do I care about some stranger so much?”. And some days with little chit chats make me happy, a useless and good-for-nothing feeling, but when she freezes the chats all of the sudden dizziness occur.

One day when I was having a delighted chat time with her in my free time one of my seniors caught me into the action of the exchange of chats.

 

“What are you thinking and smiling about? Come on, tell me with whom these chats are? Ah, is it someone special you are chatting or special to chat is going on?

Nothing, sir, just a routine follow-up with members.

No members are so funny to smile on chats and that too on routine follow-ups, just admit.

Nothing serious, sir, just usual.

You smile while following up with members.

 

He tried to provoke me more and more and smiled to learn about the chats that I politely passed on.

Whenever I try to start a new conversation, I would end up with closed roads with no words of expression, also there was a feeling to hide some of my feelings in the assumption of what she might think. Am I trespassing limits? Is it ok or I look desperate? Maybe she thinks I am a jerk or nice? Many such thoughts always jam my feeling to express before her, even in chats.

I didn’t want my only happiness came crashing down or ionized nor disturbing her dreams, emotions thought expression toward me. So never intended to shatter the silence first or stretch chats long.